Not to mention the fact that somehow when I got a buzz on I guess I thought I was #oprahwinfrey because it was “you get a shot! And you get a shot! Sure, you too!” like she used to say on her #favoritethings shows. Though I guess she said you get a car or something. Why did I do that? Well, I can’t answer why I did 85% of things I did after I got drunk. As for the other 15%, I just don’t remember. One thing that helped me to remember was if I woke up with an injury I could probably piece together how it happened. It’s nice to be relatively normal. Only took a few decades and scars that last a lifetime. They fade, though, and people forgive. I don’t forget and don’t want to. Why? Because I never want to be that lost soul again. Happy Wednesday, Sisters! Keep it simple today. . . .
When all else fails, think of the beauty/vanity aspect of alcohol on your skin, hair, and nails. If it’s showing up on the outside, what’s happening inside? No more poison for me. Happy Tuesday, Sisters! Keep it simple today. . . .
New friends have never seen me sloppy drunk. Old friends are used to the “new” me. It’s not expected of me to be “that girl” anymore. As in omg that girl just faceplanted or holy sh*t that girl is being escorted out because she’s so wasted. It’s a fabulous thing but because it’s not what I was used to it can be uncomfortable. You’d think the uncomfortable feelings would come from the shame of what I did. Well. At least I wasn’t conscious while doing it. Sometimes it’s easier to numb, at least that way you don’t have to deal at that moment. I do know one thing for sure though. I’d rather be present for my feelings; good, bad, and oh so ugly. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Did any of you ever wake up still drunk from the night before? Like hammered drunk? I’ll wait to hear your answers before I tell you mine 🤐😂but a friend of mine told me this story the other day. She used to run a big company that took care of seniors and had a few women there who weren’t…let’s say… living up to their potentials and her expectations. They’d come in so debilitated from the night before that they were less than productive from 8 am til about noon. She cared a lot about them and offered help if they needed it. Like many of us they denied having a problem. So guess what she did? She made their work day START at noon. Not many of us have a boss like that. I know I never have. So if you woke up today instead of came to, know where your ID is, and can formulate a sentence, you’re on the right track. Happy Saturday, sober family! Keep it simple today. 🖤👯♀️. . . .
Freedom from alcohol is the most important gift I could give myself. Ever. I never knew how riddled with fear I was until I put the bottle down. Luckily, after I did, that fear has dwindled down to a tiny little trickle. Good thing. My nerves couldn’t take it for one more day. Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
It happens. But it doesn’t mean that everything you’ve learned about your drinking just disappears. One time I less than half ass tried to quit. So instead of doing something I knew I couldn’t or didn’t want to I kept drinking for another 15 years or so. And knew I didn’t want to AS I WAS DOING IT and still kept going. Until I couldn’t. So be kind to you, mother yourself, and keep it simple tonight, sober family. . . .
We did survive. Just barely. We didn’t thrive though. At.All. The never ending purgatory of feeling horrid when I woke up, to the inevitable anxiety and to top it off?! The guilt that I was going to do it again. That same day. Yes- there’s life after alcohol. And you’ll actually remember it. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
I think I’ll stuck with the not column today. I can’t imagine going back to the anxiety and dread I used to wake up with after a night of drinking. I didn’t wait until the weekend though. But one Sunday I’ll never forget. I was in SoCal visiting a friend I hadn’t seen in years. We partied all night and came to on Sunday morning still drunk. We had a date to see another college friend that day around noon. Well, a bit of the hair of the dog and a few puffs of some dry goods and we were off (obviously with some roadies for the ride). We met this old friend at a brewery who I hadn’t seen in 10 years and you know what I did? I refused to eat, didn’t want any “new school beer”, chugged more than a few Budweisers in cans (because I could say bud without fucking it up), and proceeded to run out of the bar into the Pacific Ocean. In November. That’s the last I remember. Until I woke up on Monday morning. My friends had all gone to work and I was mortified. So I decided my best bet was to get on a plane and never talk about it again. Trouble with that was the that wherever I went, I was still there. And still drunk. It took a few decades to get sick of that and me. That girl was sad, inside and out. Not today, Sisters. Now she’s just a bit loopy. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .
I never had a problem sleeping. I could fall asleep on a dime. At one point I wondered if I had narcolepsy. Or like a 12 year case of mono. Nope. I passed out every night drunk so that sleep wasn’t the most restful. And I was a bit sick allll the time because I continued to poison myself. Even when I took a night off (only after doing something that scared even me) I was still utterly exhausted. Naturally falling asleep is pretty nice. Cozy. Serene. Waking up knowing there is a zero percent chance that I humiliated myself last night is absolutely priceless. Happy Wednesday night, sober family. Sweet dreams. . . .
If you tell me I can’t, then I have to. The people in my life who didn’t believe I could quit drinking weren’t just trying to be haters. They just knew me. The ones who REALLY knew me? They knew that my stubbornness and I’ll show them attitude was exactly what would work for me. They also had to wait until I decided to do it for myself. They had a long ass wait 😂😵💫
Whether or not your tribe believes in you, just know that we do. We do because we’ve been there. We do because we’ve done it. We’re not angels. We definitely are closer to being good people since we dropped the bottle. It’s not just putting down the bottle, though. We also lost severe anxiety and depression (still have it a bit though), gossiping, judging, and lying. So just think about this – If they don’t think you can, then you have to. And we’ll be by your side (at least virtually) every step of the way. Happy Thursday, sober family! Keep it simple today.