Let that shit go

The mistake I clung to was alcohol. It was always my drug of choice. I started with it and ended with it and there were other things sprinkled in between. A friend of mine told he once that his drug of choice was “more”. I get it. There was never enough for me. I’d have my first drink and already start to panic that I wouldn’t have enough for the night… no matter how much I had. My sister says she’d bring a bottle of wine to a dinner party and wonder where the rest of the bottles were – like Ok… I’m pitching in, where the hell is the rest?! I clung to my addiction like it was Brad Pitt circa his Thelma and Louise days. I could never get enough. When it was time to stop I hung on tighter. It was like an abusive relationship / I knew it was horrible for me and didn’t know how to get out. I finally did and I work on my sobriety every single day. I had time to get wasted every day so I definitely have time to work on my recovery. Today I cling to sobriety, gratitude, and love. We aspire to leave each place a tiny bit better than when we got there. Happy Saturday, sober family. Keep it simple today.

Bitch please

I don’t fantasize about drinking anymore. Which is crazy. But I sure used to.

I’d glance at people enjoying a lunch on a gorgeous spring day, with a fresh basket of bread and wine in glasses that catch the light.

Laughing and clinking glasses and sipping while eating and chatting.

It’s weird that I fantasized about doing what they were doing, because the reality is there’s no way I would have enjoyed sipping one dainty glass of wine over a 90 minute lunch.

That would be miserable. If I had to be there, I’d be done with my wine and wondering why no one was ordering more. I’d try to hurry things along so I could stop obsessing about how dumb it is to drink a few sips of alcohol and not even worry about not feeling the effect.

I heard someone say once that she was wishing she could sit in a lovely little French cafe with a friend and a glass of champagne. And then she said the voice in her head said, “Bitch, you don’t drink like that.”

Exactly. I didn’t, I can’t, and I won’t.

For me, it’s just easier not to drink at all.

Happy Saturday, sober family!

sobermemes #soberfun #sobersisters #soberlife #sobercommunity #sobercurious #soberblogger #sobermom #sobergirl #soberissexy #soberquotes #sobrietyquotes #addictionrecovery #glidedonttrudge

Obsession

By the end of my drinking days, it was such hard work keeping a double life going.

I was exhausted.

I’d wake up wishing I could stay in bed all day, then force myself through my work day and parenting.

Alcohol permeated my whole day.

I’d start in the morning vowing to cut down, or take a break from alcohol. Often, I’d passionately promise myself I was just going to quit for good.

I’d run around, hiding any evidence of my drinking. Obsessing that I’d missed something that someone else would notice first.

I’d feel like I was dragging all day. By the afternoon, I’d be obsessing about the wine I’d soon drink to get some relief from all the obsessing.

I don’t even think about alcohol today, except when talking sobriety. It’s like some past boyfriend I only kind of vaguely remember and have no interest in what he’s up to now.

It’s so much better on this side.

sobersisters #sober #glidedonttrudge #soberlife #sobrietyquotes #alcoholfreelife #alcoholfree #nobooze #recovery #odaat #addictionrecovery #addictionawareness

Drinking Doesn’t Make Me SophistIcated

When I was growing up, I saw so many images romanticizing and glamorizing alcohol.

I just knew when I grew up, I’d be able to drink. And I’d be sooo worldly and charming and cosmopolitan.

I grew up. I embraced and celebrated happy hour and wine with dinner and girls night out.

The sad thing is I always had a good life with wonderful friends and family, but so many of our experiences were fuzzy or even ruined by alcohol.

When I have a drink in my hand, I am exactly the opposite of what I want to be. I want to be engaged, interested, and happy. What happens when I start drinking is… well… I never know.

I might be sappy, morose, giddy, weepy, promiscuous, or any kind of a mess.

I didn’t drink today. And tomorrow, I’m going to do all the things I do that keep me on the sober path. It’s a beautiful life. I want to be present for it.

Alcohol Held My Brain Captive

I rationalized my drinking for years. “Look how sloppy Mary gets,” I’d think. “I’m not that bad.”

I’d run through checklists. I don’t drink before work, or shake in the mornings. Sure, I don’t sleep well, but that’s obviously unrelated. Name me a mom who sleeps. I’ll wait.

Of course I pop open the wine the minute I’m home from work- did you see how many things I had to juggle? I didn’t even have time to eat! (No, I’m not hungry, just go get the corkscrew.)

Everyone in my family drinks. We’re just good at it. What is that, a crime?

I was having these thoughts every day. And in the deep, knowing part of me, I was well aware having alcohol on my mind that much definitely pointed to an unhealthy attachment. At the very least.My brain was held hostage, turning more and more attention to how and when I’d be drinking, how to cover up my secret and keep playing the roles I constructed, and, of course, how to tell myself it was fine, I’m fine.

My mind has cleared after some sober time. I’m much calmer. I don’t have stories to tell other people (or myself) to justify strange behavior. I can focus on work while at work. I’m able to give my kids undivided attention. I’m proud to say I have some control over my mind nowadays. I’m not going to drink today. I feel better alcohol free.

#sobersisters#soberquotes#sobriety#sobrietymemes#alcoholrecovery#glidedonttrudge#addictionawareness#alcoholicsanonymous#sobercurious#wedorecover#soberlife#sobrietyissexy

Intuition

I used to ignore my intuition. If it told me not to do something and I still wanted to do it, I’d ignore it. My intuition told me not to drink so much. It told me to stop making stupid choices and then complain about the outcomes. I numbed this little voice in my head for many years by drinking. I wanted what I wanted and I wouldn’t listen to anyone, even myself. This pattern continued for decades. I’d complain about bad things happening TO me. I didn’t realize or recognize that I was responsible for my choices and actions and that there was nobody to blame but myself.

Now that I’m sober I can actually hear what my intuition is telling me. I don’t brush off or ignore red flags anymore. I take responsibility for my actions and try to do the right thing every day. I ask for advice and show up for friends. I take care of my shit with a smile on my face. It’s not always easy but it is always worth it.

Keep it simple, sisters and brothers.

On Being Sober Mamas

On Being Sober Mamas

We sober sisters are also mamas. We have 3 teens between us, aged 14, 15 and 16. Our kids have seen us drunk. They have seen us sloppy. We wish we could erase those memories they have. We wish we had been more present for them. Our babies are the most important people in our lives and we love them so much. Still. That didn’t stop us from drinking too much around them.

The truth is, we lost control over our drinking years ago. We’d make promises to cut down, to moderate it, to drink when they weren’t around.

Then we’d drink anyway. We’d drink a lot. It’s not easy, being single working moms. There aren’t enough hours in the day. There were days we felt like we were failing at life. So we’d drink to try to calm down the anxiety and to just take a break. That’s what we told ourselves anyway. We deserved it. We needed it.

We got by, but it got harder. It was awful to work while hungover. Parenting while feeling sick was miserable. The cycle just kept on going, as we kept disappointing our kids and ourselves. The worse it got, the more the shame built up. So we’d drink to block that out too.

All of our kids showed us they were really worried about us.. We finally just couldn’t hurt our kids or ourselves for one more minute. So we stopped trying to manage drinking and decided to do whatever it took to stop drinking and STAY stopped.

We can’t erase the past. We can’t get those years back. What we can do is show our kids that they can trust us and count on us. We can be honest with them. We can also show them how we manage life without alcohol (or drugs).

We hope they never see us take another drink.

Quitting drinking didn’t take our problems away, but throwing alcohol on our problems was like tossing jet fuel on a fire. It never, never made things better.

We both found sober support groups. We work on our recovery every single day. We freed up lots of time by not having to sleep off hangovers. We sleep better, we eat better, we exercise, we show up for other people.

Our kids are proud of us. Alcoholism goes back generations in our family. We’re breaking the cycle and we will never take it for granted.

Contagion

Contagion

Hey everyone! Happy Wednesday. A very good friend of mine told me today that the Sober Sisters is spreading like crazy online. She said we’re like COVID in that way – we’re becoming contagious. I love that we are reaching so many people out there. It’s especially cool because the metamorphosis of this whole project was super organic. It started out with sharing stories with my sister and laughing our asses off. It’s exciting to be able to share these with you, too. We aren’t trying to change, convert, or influence anyone. We are, however, here for you if you do choose to live the sober life. It’s working for us.