I think I’ll stuck with the not column today. I can’t imagine going back to the anxiety and dread I used to wake up with after a night of drinking. I didn’t wait until the weekend though. But one Sunday I’ll never forget. I was in SoCal visiting a friend I hadn’t seen in years. We partied all night and came to on Sunday morning still drunk. We had a date to see another college friend that day around noon. Well, a bit of the hair of the dog and a few puffs of some dry goods and we were off (obviously with some roadies for the ride). We met this old friend at a brewery who I hadn’t seen in 10 years and you know what I did? I refused to eat, didn’t want any “new school beer”, chugged more than a few Budweisers in cans (because I could say bud without fucking it up), and proceeded to run out of the bar into the Pacific Ocean. In November. That’s the last I remember. Until I woke up on Monday morning. My friends had all gone to work and I was mortified. So I decided my best bet was to get on a plane and never talk about it again. Trouble with that was the that wherever I went, I was still there. And still drunk. It took a few decades to get sick of that and me. That girl was sad, inside and out. Not today, Sisters. Now she’s just a bit loopy. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .
I never had a problem sleeping. I could fall asleep on a dime. At one point I wondered if I had narcolepsy. Or like a 12 year case of mono. Nope. I passed out every night drunk so that sleep wasn’t the most restful. And I was a bit sick allll the time because I continued to poison myself. Even when I took a night off (only after doing something that scared even me) I was still utterly exhausted. Naturally falling asleep is pretty nice. Cozy. Serene. Waking up knowing there is a zero percent chance that I humiliated myself last night is absolutely priceless. Happy Wednesday night, sober family. Sweet dreams. . . .
I know all of us are over a lot of it. Covid, jobs, grocery shopping and day care pick ups. Everyone does the best they can. The best I could while I was still drinking was less than half ass. How could it be when I was so physically and emotionally sick? Took me a year to feel somewhat human again. The way this year is going has been shocking to put it mildly. Work today was…let’s just say less than stellar. At home…the fridge broke (like BROKE broke), the floors underneath need to be replaced, and my 16 year old son’s gf broke up with him 😒. I forgot to get cigs on the way home. I took my dog for a long walk/run/stroll and finally got into a bubble bath. I relaxed for 14 seconds and saw a cockroach the size of a small rodent and screamed, got a shoe, and chased that bastard around the bathroom. If I didn’t hate them so so much I’d be impressed by their ability to be smacked down hard and keep going. What tenacity! Anyway. That sucked. But when I thought about it you know what my first thought was? “If I was still drinking I would’ve let that roach and his cousins (seconds and thirds too) just run around bc I’d be too hungover sick or too drunk to even think about dealing with it. Sucks for the roaches but the thought made me smile. There really is no limit to what we can do – but for me and my sis – it has to be without alcohol. Happy Tuesday night, sober family! Keep it simple tonight♥️👯♀️. . .
The DREADED WALK O’ SHAME. The horrors. Once one my best friends (in college) called me to come pick her up. I’d been there before. However… she neglected to tell me that she was calling from a random guy’s house and they were at Virginia Tech! Well, my friend and I lived in Radford so I hauled ass to get her and (bless her heart) she was looking rough. One earring in. Bloodshot eyes that looked even more red through all remnants of last night’s makeup. She had no clue how she got there, who she woke up next to, and breath that could peel paint. I don’t care for a walk o shame. Not even a tiny bit. Alcohol-free living has made it that much easier. Happy Saturday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Never will I ever 😉forget the way that one of my friends met her now- husband on a dating app. She said her made her tagline or headline or about me section just say free beer. She also said she knew it was click bait and that any guy who wants free beer is a good match for her. At the time I said make sure he has a case for your bestie! Now I think about matches, Valentine’s Day, and love in a slightly different way. I’ve also had a minute to reflect upon dates I’ve ruined because of beer (free or not), wine, vodka, mad dog, moonshine, or fireball shots. I don’t think the guys I went with appreciated the fact that I was only focused on where my next drink was coming from rather than the occasion we happened to be celebrating. We have men in our lives now who never saw the drunk side of us and hopefully never will. Alcohol isn’t ever free for these sisters. We have a lot of debts to pay as soon as the drinks stop flowing – apologies to make, legal fees to take care of, and the bar tabs we blew off before being escorted out. Alcohol comes to us at a high cost. Nothing is worth that kind of shame and remorse. Happy Valentine’s Day❤️, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
It’s freedom. When we thought about never drinking again it seemed impossible, overwhelming, unimaginable. How could we when we’d planned our entire teen and adult years around drinking? I’d find any excuse not to go anywhere alcohol wasn’t going to be. I got tickets one year for a bluegrass festival and when someone mentioned that alcohol wasn’t invited I sold them faster than you could say banjo. I couldn’t fathom dancing and camping and living for 48 hours without a drink. Plus, how could anyone be cool enough to hang with if they didn’t drink? Now it’s like a whole world opened up to us. We go places we never could have imagined. We have real friends who tell it like it is. And we love ourselves too much to let alcohol f up our bodies, brains, and spirits. Alcohol stole our souls. We don’t need to revolve our lives around something that destroys us. And anyone who loves us. Time to level up and evolve. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
My sister and I tried, failed, tried, and failed again – over and over again to be quit drinking. I actually didn’t try that hard. When I’d wake up after making a spectacle of myself…again…I’d swear that was the last time. By 4 pm I’d tell myself it wasn’t that bad. By 5 I’d be at the liquor store. If I had told anyone I was quitting and they saw me drinking, I’d say “I’m no quitter!” 🙄and laugh it off. We got sober when we were supposed to. Yes, I wish I could remember moments where I’d been in a blackout. Yes, it’s incredible when we meet our sisters who have their lives ahead of them alcohol- free. My stubborn self had to drink every last drink to get to the day that I loved myself enough to lose that as$hole Alcohol, and dump him like a worthless ex. Happy Saturday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
My sis and I don’t mess around when it comes to signs from the Universe. We’re a bit superstitious and maybe that’s how we survived our drunken years. We hold our breath driving past graveyards. No WAY do we not find wood to knock on when needed. We pick up our feet whenever we drive across train tracks. My 16 year old son forgot to lift his feet last year and I said “OOOOOOOHHH YOU’RE GONNA GET IT!” A week later he snapped his femur (along with a tree) in two snowboarding. I’m not the type to say I told you so but 😬. Here’s the thing. The universe, the people in my life, bartenders, Uber drivers, and strangers used to tell me to stop drinking so much. There were road blocks to getting as much as I wanted. Car accidents that left me for almost dead. No money. Anxiety. Isolation. Self sabotage. Somehow I didn’t see the blocks. Maybe I was in a black out but it was really that I didn’t want to stop. All I wanted yesterday was some big sugary unhealthy donuts. The road had flooded to get to the shop! Did I stop? Welp. No. And the flooding could have been a sign to stop being such a sugar afflict. I got the donuts. And loved them. My jeans didn’t. Anyway. Signs are everywhere. It’s just a matter of opening our eyes. Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today.
This seems to happen to almost everyone I know who has made a decision to cut alcohol out of their life. They tell us about how some of their best friends or family members tell them that they’re fine and don’t need to quit. They say that we all do stupid shit and just “tighten up”. We have a few sober sisters in Ireland who say they’ll be cut off from their family if they quit. For me, no one said I was ok and didn’t need to stop🤨😵💫🤪but even my sister heard that she didn’t have a problem with alcohol. Here’s the thing. If you do or if you don’t, no one should feel like they can tell you what’s best for you if you’re telling them what is. How the f do they know?! I know I lied about the amounts I was imbibing and the consequences of my actions when I was drunk. If you want to stop, that’s for you to decide. If they can’t handle it, that’s on them. Maybe they’ll just miss their party pal. Maybe when you’re so wasted they think they’re not so bad. Maybe they’re scared to level up themselves. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter. You can say that you’re doing it for your health. That you’re on a cleanse. That you’re in a diet. You’re pregnant. You developed an allergy. Or tell them your truth. Whatever you have to do to keep you sane and sober is key. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today.
If I had a penny for every time I was going to quit but didn’t because of an upcoming event I’d be writing this post from my glass bottom house in Tahiti. Maybe Bali. But I digress. How many countless times have we all done that? Oh well I was going to quit but I have a reunion coming up! Maybe next month. I wanted to stop but then I had to cope with a breakup! How could I!? About five years ago I remember texting my two bffs and saying I’ve had enough! From now on I’m only going to drink if there’s a reason! My friend Amy said isn’t there always a reason? Mind you, hers is the wedding where I took off my dress in front of her grandparents at the bar supposedly because I’d “never been so hot in my life”. 😵💫
We can always find a reason TO drink. I’ve found about ten thousand reasons NOT to. I’ve proven it to myself countless times. Alcohol and I don’t mix. Oil and water. Tigers and gazelles. The two families from Romeo and Juliet. Our mom’s wild dogs and squirrels. We just don’t do well together. If you do drink successfully, good! We tried. Oh how we tried. We got tired of blowing up our lives. Took long enough. Happy Monday, sober family! Keep it simple today.