Freedom from alcohol is the most important gift I could give myself. Ever. I never knew how riddled with fear I was until I put the bottle down. Luckily, after I did, that fear has dwindled down to a tiny little trickle. Good thing. My nerves couldn’t take it for one more day. Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Don’t get me wrong. I love springtime. And summertime. Fall is cool too. Winter can suck it (for me)! But Every Single Time the weather turns warm I’m surprised that my first thought STILL goes to alcohol. All I have to do, though, is look back to see how any of these things in this post end. Yard work? Welp I’d cut some grass (not on a riding mower) with beer in hand and think I deserved a lot more. So I’d do maybe the side yard then “deserve” a break. Drink a six pack, HAVE to get more, by that time I’d blow it all off and forget all about that pesky grass. Garden parties never ended well for me. Horse races too. Lahdddd all the times I went to Preakness?! Cute hat n all and I’d feel like Princess Kate’s sister (what’s her name again? Cute name too!) when I got there. I’d get carried out at some point but not after diving off of super tall coolers people would stack up. Like I was a damn Sex Pistol or something. Beach? Fahhhgetttabboutitt. 😵💫😮. So there you have it. Just because it’s gorgeous outside doesn’t mean I’m all of a sudden able to handle the sauce. As one of my bosses told me in 1997, “you’re a good worker but you need to stop letting the sauce take you down”. Thanks Mr. Wiseman. Wise words. From a wise man (I had to do it 😂). Happy Wednesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
What’s the difference between guilt and shame? I can’t ever remember but my friend @artunwined explains it in the best way/ guilt is feeling badly bc you did something wrong and shame is feeling like you’re.just.bad. Not bad as in good either. I’ve been found guilty of a few … misunderstandings in my day. I’d have taken those any day over my shame that I couldn’t ever shake. Now I know why I couldn’t. I knew in my core that I wasn’t living the way I could and should. I wasn’t living the way my sis and I were taught to live. I know how to act and what I believed when I was a kid. Then spent way too much time unlearning all of it and numbing that shame with a ton of alcohol. 3 tons probably. No more for me, thanks. I’ve had enough for 7 lifetimes if not more. Happy Sunday night, sober family! Wishing you beautiful dreams. ❤️. . . .
It happens. But it doesn’t mean that everything you’ve learned about your drinking just disappears. One time I less than half ass tried to quit. So instead of doing something I knew I couldn’t or didn’t want to I kept drinking for another 15 years or so. And knew I didn’t want to AS I WAS DOING IT and still kept going. Until I couldn’t. So be kind to you, mother yourself, and keep it simple tonight, sober family. . . .
We did survive. Just barely. We didn’t thrive though. At.All. The never ending purgatory of feeling horrid when I woke up, to the inevitable anxiety and to top it off?! The guilt that I was going to do it again. That same day. Yes- there’s life after alcohol. And you’ll actually remember it. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
A little teaser from our book, Don’t Drink Like My Sister: In this book, we talk about barriers to quitting, including shame, the label “alcoholic,” and drinking culture. .We tell our stories about what happened when we were drinking, the ups and downs of getting sober, and what we did about it. This book is the organic next step in our mission to support women on their recovery journey. Our community includes sober and sober-curious sisters from more than 4,000 cities in eighty-four countries (that we know of). This is wonderfully exciting, but not terribly shocking. We’re providing what we crave and have been missing: honest, supportive, and non-judgmental connection with other women. We need each other as we navigate a world full of expectations, in a drinking culture, in a pressure cooker. Imagine women from all walks of life—coming together to tell our stories and hold a safe space to be authentic, honest, and vulnerable. Encouraging and empowering one another to face fears and drop shame. Not only are we alcohol-free, but we’re happy about it. We tried and failed to control our drinking on our own. When we feel connected, when we feel our humanness, when we feel seen and heard, when we are given space to work through the root causes of our drinking, that’s when we get a fighting chance to reclaim our authentic selves. In our women’s community, there is no pressure or judgment. There is open discussion, heartbreakingly beautiful vulnerability and openness, compassion, and encouragement. What we do is show up for each other and share our stories and experiences, which has empowered us more than all the “addiction experts” ever could. What we do not do is promote or criticize anyone’s personal recovery path. We are here to support each other on whatever journey each of us is on. You don’t have to identify as an alcoholic. .We just want to help you tap into the support that makes all the difference between white-knuckling it, hating that you don’t get to drink, and thriving without ever thinking about drinking. Our community has been our pandemic silver lining, a way to evolve women’s recovery.
Alcohol DID give us some things, though. Nausea, anxiety, humiliation, and a mouth that didn’t know when to shut. I got bruises, scabs, scars and stitches. Alcohol helped us choose the sketchy friends and alcoholic boyfriends we thought we deserved. We attract the same energies we put out. I’ll stick with the sober energy. And live to see another day. Happy Monday, sober family! Keep it simple today. 💚👯♀️. . . . . . . .
I think I’ll stuck with the not column today. I can’t imagine going back to the anxiety and dread I used to wake up with after a night of drinking. I didn’t wait until the weekend though. But one Sunday I’ll never forget. I was in SoCal visiting a friend I hadn’t seen in years. We partied all night and came to on Sunday morning still drunk. We had a date to see another college friend that day around noon. Well, a bit of the hair of the dog and a few puffs of some dry goods and we were off (obviously with some roadies for the ride). We met this old friend at a brewery who I hadn’t seen in 10 years and you know what I did? I refused to eat, didn’t want any “new school beer”, chugged more than a few Budweisers in cans (because I could say bud without fucking it up), and proceeded to run out of the bar into the Pacific Ocean. In November. That’s the last I remember. Until I woke up on Monday morning. My friends had all gone to work and I was mortified. So I decided my best bet was to get on a plane and never talk about it again. Trouble with that was the that wherever I went, I was still there. And still drunk. It took a few decades to get sick of that and me. That girl was sad, inside and out. Not today, Sisters. Now she’s just a bit loopy. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .