We did survive. Just barely. We didn’t thrive though. At.All. The never ending purgatory of feeling horrid when I woke up, to the inevitable anxiety and to top it off?! The guilt that I was going to do it again. That same day. Yes- there’s life after alcohol. And you’ll actually remember it. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
A little teaser from our book, Don’t Drink Like My Sister: In this book, we talk about barriers to quitting, including shame, the label “alcoholic,” and drinking culture. .We tell our stories about what happened when we were drinking, the ups and downs of getting sober, and what we did about it. This book is the organic next step in our mission to support women on their recovery journey. Our community includes sober and sober-curious sisters from more than 4,000 cities in eighty-four countries (that we know of). This is wonderfully exciting, but not terribly shocking. We’re providing what we crave and have been missing: honest, supportive, and non-judgmental connection with other women. We need each other as we navigate a world full of expectations, in a drinking culture, in a pressure cooker. Imagine women from all walks of life—coming together to tell our stories and hold a safe space to be authentic, honest, and vulnerable. Encouraging and empowering one another to face fears and drop shame. Not only are we alcohol-free, but we’re happy about it. We tried and failed to control our drinking on our own. When we feel connected, when we feel our humanness, when we feel seen and heard, when we are given space to work through the root causes of our drinking, that’s when we get a fighting chance to reclaim our authentic selves. In our women’s community, there is no pressure or judgment. There is open discussion, heartbreakingly beautiful vulnerability and openness, compassion, and encouragement. What we do is show up for each other and share our stories and experiences, which has empowered us more than all the “addiction experts” ever could. What we do not do is promote or criticize anyone’s personal recovery path. We are here to support each other on whatever journey each of us is on. You don’t have to identify as an alcoholic. .We just want to help you tap into the support that makes all the difference between white-knuckling it, hating that you don’t get to drink, and thriving without ever thinking about drinking. Our community has been our pandemic silver lining, a way to evolve women’s recovery.
Alcohol DID give us some things, though. Nausea, anxiety, humiliation, and a mouth that didn’t know when to shut. I got bruises, scabs, scars and stitches. Alcohol helped us choose the sketchy friends and alcoholic boyfriends we thought we deserved. We attract the same energies we put out. I’ll stick with the sober energy. And live to see another day. Happy Monday, sober family! Keep it simple today. 💚👯♀️. . . . . . . .
I think I’ll stuck with the not column today. I can’t imagine going back to the anxiety and dread I used to wake up with after a night of drinking. I didn’t wait until the weekend though. But one Sunday I’ll never forget. I was in SoCal visiting a friend I hadn’t seen in years. We partied all night and came to on Sunday morning still drunk. We had a date to see another college friend that day around noon. Well, a bit of the hair of the dog and a few puffs of some dry goods and we were off (obviously with some roadies for the ride). We met this old friend at a brewery who I hadn’t seen in 10 years and you know what I did? I refused to eat, didn’t want any “new school beer”, chugged more than a few Budweisers in cans (because I could say bud without fucking it up), and proceeded to run out of the bar into the Pacific Ocean. In November. That’s the last I remember. Until I woke up on Monday morning. My friends had all gone to work and I was mortified. So I decided my best bet was to get on a plane and never talk about it again. Trouble with that was the that wherever I went, I was still there. And still drunk. It took a few decades to get sick of that and me. That girl was sad, inside and out. Not today, Sisters. Now she’s just a bit loopy. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .
The meeting we had tonight has kept me up thinking about way too much to type. I guess I still have a job to get to in 7 hours. But the way that it all played out was this. We all have a breaking point. Alcohol broke me down to the point of thinking that I didn’t deserve better. It was my most consistent habit – treating myself like shit. The subconscious self sabotage where I’d perceive mySELF as the victim. “My life is so hard and I do too much” – not too much to forget to get the liquor o the way home. “Nobody knows the tired of a new mom tired”- I’d forget to disclose the fact that when the baby slept, I chose to drink as much as and as fast as I could. “My man’s an asshole” – but I’ll keep him around just in case I want to use him for a wine run. The time came to level the fff up. And once I started it just didn’t stop. I get to be me for this lifetime so it’s time to make it worth it. And drowning my soul in the spirits clouded my vision on all levels. I hope you all have a fabulous Friday! Sweet dreams, sober family. . . .
I never had a problem sleeping. I could fall asleep on a dime. At one point I wondered if I had narcolepsy. Or like a 12 year case of mono. Nope. I passed out every night drunk so that sleep wasn’t the most restful. And I was a bit sick allll the time because I continued to poison myself. Even when I took a night off (only after doing something that scared even me) I was still utterly exhausted. Naturally falling asleep is pretty nice. Cozy. Serene. Waking up knowing there is a zero percent chance that I humiliated myself last night is absolutely priceless. Happy Wednesday night, sober family. Sweet dreams. . . .
I know all of us are over a lot of it. Covid, jobs, grocery shopping and day care pick ups. Everyone does the best they can. The best I could while I was still drinking was less than half ass. How could it be when I was so physically and emotionally sick? Took me a year to feel somewhat human again. The way this year is going has been shocking to put it mildly. Work today was…let’s just say less than stellar. At home…the fridge broke (like BROKE broke), the floors underneath need to be replaced, and my 16 year old son’s gf broke up with him 😒. I forgot to get cigs on the way home. I took my dog for a long walk/run/stroll and finally got into a bubble bath. I relaxed for 14 seconds and saw a cockroach the size of a small rodent and screamed, got a shoe, and chased that bastard around the bathroom. If I didn’t hate them so so much I’d be impressed by their ability to be smacked down hard and keep going. What tenacity! Anyway. That sucked. But when I thought about it you know what my first thought was? “If I was still drinking I would’ve let that roach and his cousins (seconds and thirds too) just run around bc I’d be too hungover sick or too drunk to even think about dealing with it. Sucks for the roaches but the thought made me smile. There really is no limit to what we can do – but for me and my sis – it has to be without alcohol. Happy Tuesday night, sober family! Keep it simple tonight♥️👯♀️. . .
The DREADED WALK O’ SHAME. The horrors. Once one my best friends (in college) called me to come pick her up. I’d been there before. However… she neglected to tell me that she was calling from a random guy’s house and they were at Virginia Tech! Well, my friend and I lived in Radford so I hauled ass to get her and (bless her heart) she was looking rough. One earring in. Bloodshot eyes that looked even more red through all remnants of last night’s makeup. She had no clue how she got there, who she woke up next to, and breath that could peel paint. I don’t care for a walk o shame. Not even a tiny bit. Alcohol-free living has made it that much easier. Happy Saturday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Never will I ever 😉forget the way that one of my friends met her now- husband on a dating app. She said her made her tagline or headline or about me section just say free beer. She also said she knew it was click bait and that any guy who wants free beer is a good match for her. At the time I said make sure he has a case for your bestie! Now I think about matches, Valentine’s Day, and love in a slightly different way. I’ve also had a minute to reflect upon dates I’ve ruined because of beer (free or not), wine, vodka, mad dog, moonshine, or fireball shots. I don’t think the guys I went with appreciated the fact that I was only focused on where my next drink was coming from rather than the occasion we happened to be celebrating. We have men in our lives now who never saw the drunk side of us and hopefully never will. Alcohol isn’t ever free for these sisters. We have a lot of debts to pay as soon as the drinks stop flowing – apologies to make, legal fees to take care of, and the bar tabs we blew off before being escorted out. Alcohol comes to us at a high cost. Nothing is worth that kind of shame and remorse. Happy Valentine’s Day❤️, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
It’s freedom. When we thought about never drinking again it seemed impossible, overwhelming, unimaginable. How could we when we’d planned our entire teen and adult years around drinking? I’d find any excuse not to go anywhere alcohol wasn’t going to be. I got tickets one year for a bluegrass festival and when someone mentioned that alcohol wasn’t invited I sold them faster than you could say banjo. I couldn’t fathom dancing and camping and living for 48 hours without a drink. Plus, how could anyone be cool enough to hang with if they didn’t drink? Now it’s like a whole world opened up to us. We go places we never could have imagined. We have real friends who tell it like it is. And we love ourselves too much to let alcohol f up our bodies, brains, and spirits. Alcohol stole our souls. We don’t need to revolve our lives around something that destroys us. And anyone who loves us. Time to level up and evolve. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .