New friends have never seen me sloppy drunk. Old friends are used to the “new” me. It’s not expected of me to be “that girl” anymore. As in omg that girl just faceplanted or holy sh*t that girl is being escorted out because she’s so wasted. It’s a fabulous thing but because it’s not what I was used to it can be uncomfortable. You’d think the uncomfortable feelings would come from the shame of what I did. Well. At least I wasn’t conscious while doing it. Sometimes it’s easier to numb, at least that way you don’t have to deal at that moment. I do know one thing for sure though. I’d rather be present for my feelings; good, bad, and oh so ugly. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Have you ever noticed the way that alcohol mandates your life? I only noticed it after I quit drinking. The phone calls and texts before an event – who’s driving (not me!!!!), what are we drinking, do we have enough? Oh no someone got hurt but no one can drive! Oh no I sent a text I shouldn’t have bc alcohol said to. Oh no where did I wake up, who’s that guy in the bed, and what are these bruises?! Not my best moments so when I stopped being Alcohol’s puppet life got a lot better. Less stress, anxiety, and shame. Happpppppy FRIDAY, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
I’ll never ever forget the time that I heard a friend tell another “Dude. Sometimes you just have to ride it out.” In that particular instance, he was talking about a “dry-good” (aka – drug) because he knew that the only thing that would make that situation better was time. Triggers come and go. Feelings and emotions do too. If you wait long enough. Some of us need to move a muscle to change a thought. If I’ve only learned one thing for certain in life it’s that nothing is certain. Everyone and everything changes. Sometimes we just need to ride it out to get to it. Try to enjoy it if you can and keep it simple today. . . .
It’s all about the evolution, ladies. A ton of us started drinking during our formative teenage years. I think that’s when many normies learn who they are and who they want to become. I sure didn’t. But who I was was decided for me by my behaviors. So if I’m going to be the crazy drunk girl, tween, teen, 20-something, and so on, I’m going to be the best. Which was probably the worst call. It didn’t matter if I burned it the f DOWN in a town because I’d just move. Time for a relocation reinvention. It didn’t take long to be that crazy drunk there too. No matter where. So give yourself a little grace if you’re still figuring it out. It’s going to take some time. It’s not like we’re the celebrities who have a baby and tummy tuck that same day and look like they were never even pregnant. No quick fix worked for me. I wonder if those tummy tucks really work 🤔. Probably not. Time to get a one-piece! 😂Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Did any of you ever wake up still drunk from the night before? Like hammered drunk? I’ll wait to hear your answers before I tell you mine 🤐😂but a friend of mine told me this story the other day. She used to run a big company that took care of seniors and had a few women there who weren’t…let’s say… living up to their potentials and her expectations. They’d come in so debilitated from the night before that they were less than productive from 8 am til about noon. She cared a lot about them and offered help if they needed it. Like many of us they denied having a problem. So guess what she did? She made their work day START at noon. Not many of us have a boss like that. I know I never have. So if you woke up today instead of came to, know where your ID is, and can formulate a sentence, you’re on the right track. Happy Saturday, sober family! Keep it simple today. 🖤👯♀️. . . .
Freedom from alcohol is the most important gift I could give myself. Ever. I never knew how riddled with fear I was until I put the bottle down. Luckily, after I did, that fear has dwindled down to a tiny little trickle. Good thing. My nerves couldn’t take it for one more day. Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
What’s the difference between guilt and shame? I can’t ever remember but my friend @artunwined explains it in the best way/ guilt is feeling badly bc you did something wrong and shame is feeling like you’re.just.bad. Not bad as in good either. I’ve been found guilty of a few … misunderstandings in my day. I’d have taken those any day over my shame that I couldn’t ever shake. Now I know why I couldn’t. I knew in my core that I wasn’t living the way I could and should. I wasn’t living the way my sis and I were taught to live. I know how to act and what I believed when I was a kid. Then spent way too much time unlearning all of it and numbing that shame with a ton of alcohol. 3 tons probably. No more for me, thanks. I’ve had enough for 7 lifetimes if not more. Happy Sunday night, sober family! Wishing you beautiful dreams. ❤️. . . .
It happens. But it doesn’t mean that everything you’ve learned about your drinking just disappears. One time I less than half ass tried to quit. So instead of doing something I knew I couldn’t or didn’t want to I kept drinking for another 15 years or so. And knew I didn’t want to AS I WAS DOING IT and still kept going. Until I couldn’t. So be kind to you, mother yourself, and keep it simple tonight, sober family. . . .
We did survive. Just barely. We didn’t thrive though. At.All. The never ending purgatory of feeling horrid when I woke up, to the inevitable anxiety and to top it off?! The guilt that I was going to do it again. That same day. Yes- there’s life after alcohol. And you’ll actually remember it. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
A little teaser from our book, Don’t Drink Like My Sister: In this book, we talk about barriers to quitting, including shame, the label “alcoholic,” and drinking culture. .We tell our stories about what happened when we were drinking, the ups and downs of getting sober, and what we did about it. This book is the organic next step in our mission to support women on their recovery journey. Our community includes sober and sober-curious sisters from more than 4,000 cities in eighty-four countries (that we know of). This is wonderfully exciting, but not terribly shocking. We’re providing what we crave and have been missing: honest, supportive, and non-judgmental connection with other women. We need each other as we navigate a world full of expectations, in a drinking culture, in a pressure cooker. Imagine women from all walks of life—coming together to tell our stories and hold a safe space to be authentic, honest, and vulnerable. Encouraging and empowering one another to face fears and drop shame. Not only are we alcohol-free, but we’re happy about it. We tried and failed to control our drinking on our own. When we feel connected, when we feel our humanness, when we feel seen and heard, when we are given space to work through the root causes of our drinking, that’s when we get a fighting chance to reclaim our authentic selves. In our women’s community, there is no pressure or judgment. There is open discussion, heartbreakingly beautiful vulnerability and openness, compassion, and encouragement. What we do is show up for each other and share our stories and experiences, which has empowered us more than all the “addiction experts” ever could. What we do not do is promote or criticize anyone’s personal recovery path. We are here to support each other on whatever journey each of us is on. You don’t have to identify as an alcoholic. .We just want to help you tap into the support that makes all the difference between white-knuckling it, hating that you don’t get to drink, and thriving without ever thinking about drinking. Our community has been our pandemic silver lining, a way to evolve women’s recovery.