When all else fails, think of the beauty/vanity aspect of alcohol on your skin, hair, and nails. If it’s showing up on the outside, what’s happening inside? No more poison for me. Happy Tuesday, Sisters! Keep it simple today. . . .
My sister and I have been talking about how we would like to show more class and grace. Kindness and manners are always in style. That doesn’t mean you won’t hear the F bomb drop from our lips on occasion. Sometimes it’s just called for.
What isn’t called for is getting fall down drunk. It’s really not cute at any age, but it’s just a ridiculous state of affairs for professional moms with teen kids. I mean, REALLY. Ladies. Come on.
How do we drink with class? We drink water and sparkling water and coffee and an occasional tea. Maybe we throw a splash of juice in the seltzer when we’re feeling sassy. Because, make no mistake, we are no ladies with an alcoholic beverage. That one drink is gone in about 1/2 second, so fast either one of us easily could say, “Oh, I believe you forgot to pour my drink.” I can confidently say neither one of us has ever been satisfied with just one. Our motto was always, “Why waste the calories?”
We retired our drinking career, choosing to treat our bodies as the temples of our lovely spirits. We still aren’t exactly models of decorum, but fuck it. It’s a start.
I’m what a lot of people would call a high functioning alcoholic. Like, my family didn’t worry about my. There were no staged interventions. When I brought up my drinking to friends and family, like, “maybe do I drink too much?,” I always got back an emphatic NO!
Mind you, it’s not like I told anyone the truth about how much I drank alone. More like, I wanted to know if I was getting away with it. And I pretty much did. I was there at all my son’s little league games and my daughter’s theater performances and got them to the doctor and dentist and playdates. I was involved in the schools. I knew all the teachers and their friend’s parents. I hung out at school pickup with the other mamas.
I never missed work because of a hangover. I worked hard. I got through a very challenging 4 year graduate school, with excellent grades, then right away started a business and grew it and have staff and serve people in my community.
I have friends. I volunteer in my community. When invited to social events, I showed up, with a hostess gift or an appetizer. My house was clean-ish. I paid my bills.
What’s remarkable is the incredible resilience of the human brain and body. Like, I routinely poured ethanol down my throat and my body kept going.
It’s a trap, being a drunk who still pulls off the show. If I had been confronted by those close to me, I might have sought help sooner. Not necessarily for myself, but because I care about my reputation so much and would be ashamed to look people in the eye if I knew THEY knew I was a drunk. Plus, our culture pretty much revolves around alcohol. So if everyone in my circle drinks, they’re going to be more comfortable if I do, too.
Getting away with it helped me ignore the problem, rather than looking beyond my reputation to how I was treating myself. I was sick and tired ALL THE TIME. I was always trying to control my drinking. My diet sucked. Exercise was erratic. My mood was awful. I lied about my drinking. I wasn’t proud of myself. I stopped feeling pleasure from everyday things. I suspected I’d be happier not poisoning yourself. I’m so glad I gave sobriety a chance ❤️