Connecting Sober and Sober Curious Women: sober women's podcast, support group and blog.
Author: Sober Sisters Society
Welcome to the Sober Sisters Society! Find us on Instagram @sober_sisters_society, and on Facebook @SoberSistersSociety. Listen to our podcast where we share stories about our crazy lives, our different paths to sobriety and how we ended up here... Sober professional Gen X single moms.
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It happened all the time. I’d tell myself I was bored, tell myself that alcohol wouldn’t cure my boredom, perseverate on that alcohol, and drink. Then I’d get to that horrid spot of drunken boredom. Alcohol didn’t cure my boredom, loneliness, sadness, anxiety or depression. It made it worse. I used to stand on my back porch with a drink and a cigarette and keep an eye on my young son through the sliding glass door. I’d get the feeling that I was on the side of death and watching him from my hell. Or my purgatory. That all sounds hellish to me. And very sad. Glad it’s behind us now…no one deserves that life. Happy Tuesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .
Drunk never looked good on this sister. Or my sister. Or anyone. What really didn’t look or feel good was me the day after. Not just the morning after. The whole day. Times two. A friend told me a long time ago that he quit drinking once his hangovers started lasting two full days. I was like hmmm. If that had been the case for me I’d have been sober at 20. It was bad enough to feel the physical repercussions but the emotional anguish I put myself through was the worst. I’ve experienced enough shame to last seven lifetimes. That chapter is closed. When I fuck up in life I apologize, learn from my mistakes, and move on. No one benefits from my guilt or remorse, least of all me. And no one looks good drunk….least of all me. Happy Monday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .
Have you ever woken up petrified to open your eyes because of what you did the night before? I used to. In fact, I got so used to it that it seemed abnormal not to. I’d wake up and try to remember what had happened, what I’d done, said, and did. If I was as hungover as I typically was, I’d know it wasn’t good. I’ll always remember when one of my good friends woke up at Virginia Tech after a night of partying in Radford. Once I ended up in Charlottesville, Va. Apparently we’d gone on a road trip (with a cooler full of roadies) and when the cops were called to the house we ended up in I was passed out and snoring so loudly on a couch that even the cops couldn’t wake me up. I literally have no idea how I’m still alive and kicking today but I do know this. If I had nine lives, I’ve used up 999 of them. I don’t think I could get away with the debauchery that comes along with drinking alcohol anymore. Fine by me. I prefer knowing what I’ve done and why – at least until the dementia kicks in. I have a few good years left in me. Happy Saturday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .
What is it about the changing of seasons that makes me crave a drink? It’s getting chilly so I guess I think I’m in an ad for pumpkin beer wearing a flannel and Uggs and sitting around a fire pit. Fall also means football. Not that I really care but boy howdy if there’s ever an excuse to drink there it is. Forget the game day snacks. What’s the game plan for the game day drinks? Luckily I know that my feelings aren’t facts. Luckily I know that I can’t moderate. Luckily I surrendered to alcohol a few years ago. I watched the Outer Banks last night with my son and the kids were having a keg party. I looked at my son and said (joking) thanks for trying to trigger me! He said nah mom you’re good – you’ve been sober over 3 years. I didn’t want to go there at the time but…I don’t care if I have 3, 13, or 30 years sober. Triggers can sneak up at any time. But they’ll pass. Always do. I’d prefer no passing OUT this weekend. Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
It’s so refreshing to live a life without regret. It had been a minute and the first time I woke up not ashamed at myself I felt like I’d won the lottery. In a way, I had. So many of us live in the drunk, hungover, anxious, depressed cycle. It was what I knew. It was expected. To be able to start my day without crippling humiliation and shame is a gift worth so much more than lotto winnings. Don’t get me wrong, though. I’d be just fine accepting a mega millions purse. Happy to do it, tbh. 🤣 Our lives are precious. Don’t take them for granted and be your best self every day. For me, that starts without a hangover. Happy Wednesday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Straight facts. When what’s best for you isn’t best for someone else you’ll find a ton of push back. I’ve found hat even when a loved one says they want sobriety for you they feel threatened. Not all of them but more than I’d have thought. So many women have asked us why their partners become annoyed, aggravated, or assholish once they put the bottle down. This is what we think:
They’re losing their partner in crime.
They cant be the “hero” who takes care of you when drunk or hungover.
They can’t write their own version Bc now you remember things.
They’d need to look at their own substance use. Not everyone (obvs) feels or acts this way but it’s out there. If it happens, move along. It’s time to put you first. Happy Tuesday, sober family. Keep it simple today. . . .
If you’re a tiny bit like me then you’ll get this. I like to look pretty but not like I’m trying to look pretty. So when I was drinking I didn’t know what to do about my red cheeks and spider veins across my nose. Makeup only goes so far. I also have an autoimmune disease and I was always so sick when I drank. The disease hasn’t magically vanished but it’s 95% better now that I actually take care of myself. When I was in rehab I met so so so many people who had psoriasis. Their skin looked painful when they walked into detox and when they walked out they looked healthy and so much better. It still baffles me that I spent THOUSANDS of dollars and SEVERAL years of my life knowingly putting poison into my body. If nothing else keeps me sober today, this will- alcohol is poisonous to me. That’s it. My son is allergic to peanuts so would I ever tell him to just try a few? And see what happens? Umm nope. I can’t just have a few cocktails. And if I do have a drink- no telling what’ll happen but I’d bet you $100,000 that it wouldn’t end well. Happy Monday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .
Once I told two of my best friends that I was only going to drink if there was a reason to. They both started laughing and then saw that I was serious. I had made an ass of myself for the LAST TIME I told them. So my plan was to only drink if there was a good reason. They wished me the best and undoubtedly texted each other after that big announcement of mine, wondering what I could have been thinking. Because here’s the thing. There is ALWAYS a reason (my addicted brain thinks) to have a drink or 7. Bad day? Wine it is. Fighting with my man? Make it vodka. Work troubles (made worse by alcohol)? How ‘bout a six pack AND a bottle? The research I’ve done to moderate lasted decades. I seem to be a slow learner. I had to leave it all behind. The alcohol, the drugs, the shame, the anxiety, the judgement, the gossip. I don’t like me when I’m drunk. If I can’t stand to look at my face when I’m wasted then you can be sure no one else can either. Alcohol is designed to be addictive. Too bad alcohol doesn’t know how stubborn I am. I lost too many memories because of the way I drank. I’m not losing any more. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . . .
When I heard “you may be the only example of a sober woman someone sees today” I actually laughed out loud. I said they may need to find a new example. I couldn’t fathom being an example or an inspiration to anyone! How could I when I’d let myself down for so many years? How was it possible that someone might look to me for advice or for how to lead a sober life? Then I realized. Obviously I qualify as someone whose life turned into a shit show because of the sauce. So just by not taking a drink I was killing it. The people who knew me were so proud. The people who met me only knew the non drunk me. So yeah… I’ll be an example. There are worse things to be (and I’ve been those too). If you struggle it’s ok. If you take a drink again it’s ok. And we’ll be here for you either way. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. Happy Saturday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . .
I’m so glad I don’t drink anymore. I cannot imagine going through life in this pandemic with a hangover. Sometimes I’m crazy enough to think (even STILL) that I can moderate my drinking. Then all I have to do is think of what I did drunk. Once I told a friend’s young son that there is no Santa Claus. Once (okay okay at least four times) I woke up in a field. Once I hooked up with my live in boyfriend’s next door neighbor. Once I drove drunk, while throwing up, to get more liquor. So yeah. I don’t think moderation is my jam. I’ve also realized this…if someone doesn’t accept that I don’t drink then they most likely need to look at their own drinking. It can be hard for them when they lose their partner in crime. I’m no saint but I’m a hell of a lot less of a sinner when I don’t get hammered. Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today. . . .