Once I told two of my best friends that I was only going to drink if there was a reason to. They both started laughing and then saw that I was serious. I had made an ass of myself for the LAST TIME I told them. So my plan was to only drink if there was a good reason. They wished me the best and undoubtedly texted each other after that big announcement of mine, wondering what I could have been thinking. Because here’s the thing. There is ALWAYS a reason (my addicted brain thinks) to have a drink or 7. Bad day? Wine it is. Fighting with my man? Make it vodka. Work troubles (made worse by alcohol)? How ‘bout a six pack AND a bottle? The research I’ve done to moderate lasted decades. I seem to be a slow learner. I had to leave it all behind. The alcohol, the drugs, the shame, the anxiety, the judgement, the gossip. I don’t like me when I’m drunk. If I can’t stand to look at my face when I’m wasted then you can be sure no one else can either. Alcohol is designed to be addictive. Too bad alcohol doesn’t know how stubborn I am. I lost too many memories because of the way I drank. I’m not losing any more. Happy Sunday, sober family! Keep it simple today.
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