I’m overly independent and have issues about having to take care of everything and everyone because that seemed to be my assigned role. One of my besties said to me yesterday- you never got to be a child.
I’m not trying to overshare, just explaining I didn’t have a fighting chance against alcohol until I recognized the truth.
I didn’t ask for help. Literally never. I couldn’t even form the thought. Because I didn’t trust anyone.
My fear wasn’t about living without booze, it was about KNOWING I had to go ask for sober help and not knowing how to force myself to ask. Once I figured that out, I was on my way.
It helped me to reframe what was going on. Instead of getting attached to the thought “I’m broken and might not be fixable,” I thought “I’m doing whatever it takes to get back to who I’m meant to be.”
All I had to do was lose alcohol to find myself… when I thought about it like that i stopped delaying, told the truth, and asked for help.