I never knew why people would ask me, with tears in their eyes, “why do you do this to yourself? Why would you treat your mind, body and spirit this way?” These questions would usually come after a night of debauchery in which I drank way too much alcohol, sprinkled in a few dry goods, black out, and do things I’d never consider doing sober. The anxiety would creep in, I’d be mortified and ashamed, and the people who truly loved me would try to understand. The simple answer is this. I didn’t know what loving myself was. Until I could, how could I expect anyone else to? We attract what we project and let’s just say that my energy when I was drinking attracted people who were like me. I surrounded myself with people who didn’t ask those questions anymore. We had simple, surface relationships where we didn’t ask too much and didn’t expose our true selves. I didn’t want anyone to know the true me because I didn’t know who that was. We can and do recover…but the first step in doing that is understanding that we’re worth recovery. It’s a beautiful day to love ourselves and attract what we deserve. Happy Tuesday, sober family. Keep it simple today.
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