The worst Mondays were when I went to work after seeing colleagues over the weekend. I’d be reminded by someone in the teacher’s lounge that I’d run into at a bar or party or whatever. Nine times out of ten they’d laughingly proceed to tell me and errrrrone else what I had been doing. I’d pretend to know what they were talking about and laugh it off while dying inside. Once I had taken money out of the tip jar the music teacher had out while he was playing at a local bar. I won’t even discuss the booze cruises we’d go on for end of year celebrations. What’s funny today is that I can’t stand being around drunk people. It’s probably because I see a little bit of myself in each of them. As they say, “if you spot it, you’ve got it”. When I didn’t care about my health or spiritual well being and downed shots as if it were my last day on earth, people assumed it was because that’s what I wanted to do. At the end, it was the last thing I wanted but I didn’t know how to stop. My self esteem was at an all time low. We teach people how to treat us. If I don’t give a fuck about my body and mind, why should anyone else? THANK GOD those days are long gone. I’d hate to relive them. Actually, just writing this gives me anxiety 😬😵💫🤣. I don’t have a lot to do today except for one thing. I’ll go to bed sober and wake up with no regrets. Happy Monday, sober family. Keep it simple today.
One response to “Monday shame”
“if you spot it, you’ve got it”, I love it.