Just typing this list gives me anxiety. Everything on it was me every single day. That’s no way to live. Shit, that’s no way to die. The fact of the matter is that I didn’t even want to quit drinking because I was full of fear. Fear of the unknown. No matter how hard my life was, at least I knew it. I was used to it, I “handled” it, and it was in my wheelhouse. When you start partying at 14 and get sober at 45 you have to relearn how to live. I’d never coped with feelings and emotions without numbing them. I’d never considered how my actions were hurting others without blowing it off and drinking some more. Put anything in front of me and be prepared for me to do it all. Alcohol, drugs, candy, cookies, it didn’t matter. Luckily I was given the chance to make a change and see that what I was doing didn’t work. Finally. Took long enough. Happy Friday, sober family. Keep it simple today.
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