And it wasn’t at a huge event making an ass out of myself in front of 100 eyewitnesses. It was much sadder. I was alone in my house on a gorgeous spring day, blinds closed, drinking alone. I couldn’t stand being in my own skin. I numbed every feeling, instinct, and good judgement. I only wanted some GD relief. That relief lasted about seven minutes. That sweet spot of feeling buzzed but not sick or dizzy, the feeling that everything would be ok. It came to me after 3-4 drinks. And lasted 7 minutes. My life is worth more than seven minutes of alcohol infused “happiness” a day. I remember just being so tired. Bone weary, heart heavy, spirit lost TIRED. I couldn’t fathom changing and yet I couldn’t imagine continuing. Without my sister(s) @obnicole @sobergirl_glo @alystrong40 @carynwhitney @leslienc813 @lucky1longo and many many more, I’d still be that sad, weary, hiding woman. Now I can face whatever this world throws my way with a bit of grace. It’s not easy but I’ve never done anything more worthy. Happy Wednesday, sober family. Keep it simple today.
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