There were no happy accidents when I was drinking. Lots of accidents, yes. Happy ones, no. I spent years of my life on morning afters filled with shame. The difference between shame and guilt is that guilt is about something you’ve done while shame is about something you are. I hear myself saying this to newly sober people all the time…just because you drank too much doesn’t mean that you were a horrible person all around. It’s a disease. An uneasy state of being that is only seemingly solved by drinking more. I’ve never seen it get better. I went to a speaker meeting Sunday night and the man speaking said he got dry for four months before really attempting sobriety. He said death would have been better. Until he got sober, which included figuring out his why, he was miserable. He’s 8 months sober today and says he’s the happiest he’s been. It was past due for me to get sober. Shame and guilt have their purpose but living in it, day in and day out, does nothing but exacerbate it. The more energy I put into something, the more power it has. I’ll put my energy into sobriety today. Happy Tuesday, sober family. Keep it simple today.
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