I could sell fire to the devil himself if I wanted to badly enough. I could talk (or let’s be real- manipulate) people into doing what I wanted or believing what I said. So when I told myself over and over for decades that I could manage my drinking I BELIEVED IT. It’s exactly as my beautiful and insightful friend @artunwined says, “half of my brain manufactures bullshit and the other half buys it.” So true for me.
My sister and I were raised a certain way. Don’t complain, don’t whine, don’t “nest” (just GET UP AND OUT, girls! @jhc_artist ) don’t be a quitter, and never show weakness. That’s one of the reasons we drank for so long. Our dad called it alcohol abuse if we didn’t finish a drink- so we had no other choice. We’d tell ourselves that the Cox girls are a lot of things but we aren’t quitters! Our dad could drink, y’all. And on top of that- stay classy and distinguished while doing it. He could slam vodka and speak Russian with the best of them (like actually in Russia) and you’d never know it wasn’t his first language. Throw back some Columbian cocktails, smoke ten cigars, and head out to work with coffee in hand. Our mom can drink two beers and be done. Maybe if I weighed 90 pounds like she does I could too??? Not going to test that out though. I can say ANYTHING and deny everything but I have learned this. If I ignore a problem it doesn’t disappear. Most of the time, it gets worse. I won’t deny having a problem with alcohol. I do deny that anything but abstinence is ok for me. A different kind of crazy will come out and you guys don’t need to meet her. 🤪 Happy Friday, sober family! Keep it simple today.