There an acronym that @emanuel_acho posted about denial.
That’s exactly what happened to me. I sort of knew I was lying to myself, but a couple more glasses of wine made me forget again, as I paced around, telling myself my life was great, everything is fiiiine.
My brain started craving alcohol. I’d made a habit of drinking wine at night. As a reward, a way to check out, a break from my racing mind. Then my wine habit turned more into a need for a drink. Like I’d be very irritated and agitated if something got in the way of my “me time.” Which slowly degraded into isolated drinking time.
I wanted to still have friends, and yoga classes, and beach hangouts, but I had to drink, or nap from exhaustion, or play catch up on my life because I lost all those hours drinking.
I pretended I was making a conscious choice every day. I always had a great reason to actually start tomorrow.
Years of tomorrows, wishing I could just moderate it, and thinking I could.
I could not.
If you need sober support, reach out anytime. It’s so much better on this side. The