There are so many holidays I would rather forget. Actually I have forgotten most because I was too drunk to know what I was doing. I see it in the pictures of me. I heard about it after the fact. I realized it when family members stopped answering my calls. I don’t know why I sabotaged the magic of Christmas. The magic was there when I was little and trying to wait up all night to get a glimpse of Santa and Rudolf. The magic was there every Christmas morning when my sister woke me up and we ran to look under the tree. Christmas is a magical, spiritual, beautiful time of year. I don’t need egg nog to make it more so. I want to be present and clear headed and truly happy for this holiday. It will probably be the last one that our dad knows who we are so I’d like to make these memories count. I was so sick of being sick on Christmas. Today is our third Christmas sober and I swear IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER. Merry Christmas Eve, y’all. Keep it simple today.