I never wanted to make waves…until I was drunk. I couldn’t stand confrontation and avoided uncomfortable situations at all costs. My anxiety and addiction helped me to become the best avoidant ever. If it was fight or flight, I’d take flight, thank you very much. On the flip, I’d look for confrontation when I was drunk. I’d say, “you want a piece of me?!” in bars. Now that I’m sober I have had to set some boundaries. If I don’t have them in place I risk a relapse- it may not necessarily be that I pick up a drink or a drug, but I could revert into old patterns of behavior that kept me in the cups for so long. I can’t tell y’all how many people I never set boundaries with and then would “have to” make up excuses to blow them off. I knew that some of them were bad for me and would expect me to “bring it” as the crazy ass chick who drank like a fish and was up for anything. I’ve been setting boundaries now for a few 24 hours and it’s such a relief. It’s a moment of an uncomfortable conversation that replaces months or even years of making excuses as to why I don’t want to hang anymore. Today I prefer to have that face to face conversation. Rip off the bandaid and let’s have a chat. I like to look people in the eye and let them know where I’m coming from. I’d the relationship is over, so be it. If it’s a family member, well.. I guess I’ll see them over the holidays. Nothing is more important than my sobriety. If that bothers someone l, it’s on them. Keep it simple today, sober family.