Happy Tuesday Sober Fam!
Nicole and I were just chatting with some friends about sober dating. I have a few thoughts. 🙂
Before I got sober, any and everything seemed to be overwhelming to try to do without a drink or seven. I didn’t go to events if there was no alcohol being served. If I absolutely HAD TO GO I’d down a few drinks beforehand and QUITE a few after. My disease tells me anything it needs to in order to keep me in my disease. There are countless times I’d swear off drinking and then an event would come up and I’d tell myself I HAD to have a few to “deal”.
I kept pretty close to home my first year of sobriety. I’d go to work, spend time with my son, and go to my 12 step meetings. I didn’t go to events where I’d be around alcohol. I wasn’t willing to risk my sobriety. After the first year it just didn’t seem to matter if there was alcohol around. I am sure to check in with myself and if I feel uncomfortable I just leave.
As for dating. UGH. I’ve dated a few men that I met in recovery meetings. I felt comfortable knowing that they were sober too. I didn’t need any “liquid courage” to go on dates because I already had friendships with them. The problem is, though, I have stopped drinking but all of my “defects” haven’t disappeared. I’m still a bit selfish and know it all ish. Those traits aren’t ideal for being in or maintaining a happy, healthy relationship. I’m taking a break for now and working on me.
As always, listen to your gut. It hasn’t failed me yet when I actually do.
Have a terrific Tuesday and don’t forget to keep it simple!